My son came to the world as the most beautiful Xmas present for all of us. Very soon I found out I would learn the lesson of my life. He turned 4 months last week and has taught me so many things already.
So what did I learn so far?
- to stop planning- when he is... weeks old, we will... and the dream came true... - instead enjoy every single day and moment as it is. This is probably still the biggest challenge for me as I was used to plan for 130% with plans A, B and C... but with my little angel I soon found out that it caused too much stress to him and also to me- as in my head I was constantly thinking about the next thing to do or come... so I was present and was not at the same time. So now I am constantly present when we are together and guess what? It works amazingly! When we are together, we are simply together- sometimes I only sit next to his play mat and watch him playing, sometimes I lay next to him and watch him sleeping, sometimes we play together, I sing or read to him and sometimes I only hold him in my arms... and then he lets me be alone- I can cook, work or talk with family, friends while he is around and doesn't need me as he knows our time comes. Babies are very smart.
- babies are good and cry for a reason- so simple as it is. I was kind of suspicious every time it was too much if he was not testing me and my boundaries. But according to my experience not at all! He is an amazing baby and when he cries, there is always a reason. The length of his cry depends on how fast I found it out. So moms- What worked for me?- observe him when he cries- don't rush to shhh him, but listen. After 3 weeks of doing so, I managed to recognize different cries for different reasons and he is much happier now and cries less.
- babies communicate really well. I think they are the best managers, the most patient teachers and never ending eaters. My son managed to show me his preferred sleeping style. And when I listened and taught we had it, he changed it the very next day. If you thing a baby can't eat every hour, it will surprise you as it surprised me.
- everything is a phase. However bad the day is, it will end and there will be a better one to come. First weeks were really tough, but then it has been better and better.
- if you think, you don't know, you are right and if you think, you know, you are right, too. When it is hard and he cries for longer spells, it is hard for me to stay calm. So what works for me is either to talk to him with a low tone of voice- Mom knows why you are crying- or to pray out loud and let God lead me. Both things help me to stay calm and soon he follows.
Everyday is a new adventure and I can't wait what we will learn tomorrow.